Sexuality in Older Women and Their Partners

Social Psychology Theories and Sexuality

Female sexuality cannot be understood without consideration of the psychosocial factors that contribute to the sexual context. For example, there are some social psychology theories that can used to help understand how interpersonal interactions can influence sexual functioning.

1) Self-perception theory. Self-perception theory is based on the premise that people make attributions about their own attitudes, feelings and behaviors by relying on their observations of external behaviors and the circumstances in which those behaviors occur (Bem, 1965). Take for example, a 60-year-old woman who has been married for 25 years. Although she has had drive to be sexual about once per week throughout her marriage, her husband has had the drive to be sexual three times per week. This has resulted in the husband always being the initiator. This woman now observes her own behavior and sees that she has only engaged in sex when asked. Even though she was often receptive to the initiation and enjoyed the encounters, her self-perception is that she has little desire and is not a sexual person because she hardly ever thinks of it on her own and never initiates. Her husband has a similar perception.

Another common example of how self-perception can (negatively) impact a sexual relationship occurs as a result of the disadvantage of long-term relationships. In this case, both partners observe that they are no longer behave as passionately with each other. They may recall that early in the relationship when they were first lovers, it was exciting and the challenge, mystery, danger and novelty kept the passion alive. But as with every long-term relationship, passion wanes though the trade-off is comfort, security and partnership. However, many couples don't understand this natural occurrence and perceive it as a flaw in their own relationship. Therefore, they observe their own decline in passion and interpret this as meaning they no longer desire their partner.

2) "Overjustification" hypothesis. This theory predicts that when an external reward is given to a person for performing an intrinsically rewarding activity, the person's intrinsic interest will decrease (Lepper, Greene, & Nisbett, 1973). In this case, if this 60-year-old woman responds to her husband's sexual initiation and the result is that she experiences a reward, such as relief from guilt (a form of negative reinforcement), relief from criticism from her husband, or gratitude and more house-work done by him the next day, the actual enjoyment of the sexual encounter may decline for her. This woman is now likely to interpret her enjoyment as being primarily from the reward instead of the actual activity.

3) Cognitive dissonance theory, states that an inconsistency between two cognitions or between a cognition and a behavior will create such discomfort in a person that they will alter one of the cognitions or behaviors in order to restore consistency and reduce this distress (Festinger, 1957). If this same woman responds to her husbands advances but does not perceive any external reward for this, that is, no relief of guilt, no reduction in whining, no gratitude etc., the need for cognitive balance or consistency between her observed behaviors and thoughts would lead her to attribute her behavior to intrinsic enjoyment of sex.

One of the classic cognitive dissonance studies clearly illustrates this concept (Festinger & Carlsmith, 1959). In this study, subjects (college students) participated in a dull experiment and then were paid either $1 or $20 to tell potential subjects that the experiment had actually been interesting and fun. When the original subjects were subsequently asked to evaluate the dull experiment, the group that was paid $1 had rated the task as significantly more enjoyable than the group that was paid $20. The researchers interpreted this as due to the $20 group having perceived there was sufficient justification for lying and thus, did not feel any dissonance and had no need to alter their cognitions and continued to consider the task as dull. The dollar group felt insufficient justification for lying and therefore felt dissonance, which they reduced by changing their attitude and deciding that the experiment was actually fun. With regard to sexuality, many women, due to self-perception theory and overjustification, perceive of sex as a chore or an obligation rather than an enjoyable experience and consider themselves sexually inadequate. In addition, many couples in long-term relationships misinterpret the natural decrease in excitement and passion as being a symptom of a bad marriage.

Last Modified: September 5, 2006